Summer Plans

You know that roadtrip I've been talking about for the past two years? I'll be leaving sometime in June.
It feels (and could be) stupid to leave a good job in the middle of a recession depression but I can proudly say I'm leaving Mediastruction better than I found it. I can't take credit for too much of this but we've grown (both in staff and office space) and our client list has doubled from when I first started. I thank my boss for the great opportunity and successful 3.5 years of employment but it's time for a change.

Details are hazy but are starting to come together:
-NY, then Philly, then driving to Chicago so Erin can fix the city.

The rest is a little more up in the air:
-After a few days in Chitown I'll hopefully be drinking bourbon in Kentucky and hitting New Orleans before catching up with Tyler in Dallas for a week.
-From Dallas I'm hitting New Mexico and Arizona, making a pit stop in Vegas (got to right?) then making my way up the West Coast.
-I'll probably be in LA/SF/San Diego until I've used up my stay on couches and guest rooms. Then there are a handful of additional places and people I want to see (Colorado anyone?)

Please holler (jesse.plate@gmail.com) if:
-You just read the above and thought "whoa I want to go to _____ with you and have some vacation time to use"
-You have some advice about being on the road, or a restaurant/park/whatever where I definitely should stop
-You have a couch I can crash on and I haven't already talked to you about it

When I've told people about this I've gotten mostly positive responses and a few questions like:
-How long is this going to take?
-Why?
-What are you hoping to get out of this?
-Do you have a new job lined up? You don't? Are you CRAZY? What are you going to do for money?

I don't know how long this is going to take or what I'm hoping for at the end. I have fully embraced the possibility that 2 years from now I will make less money than I currently make. Starting over once or twice might be par for the "didn't figure out what I want to do with my life during college" crowd. Money wise- I will be ok. Over the past few years since college we've probably all spent thousands that we didn't have to and it has (for the most part) been completely worth it. Professionally, maybe this trip is just something I need to get out of my system. I'd probably be better at my current job if I didn't "what if" as often as I do.

The "why" is hard to articulate. For one, it feels right. I'm terrified if I don't go travel right now that someday I will be that old guy who wishes he did something risky and fun in his 20s.
I used to constantly feel like there was something really special/beautiful about me. Certain people (the ones who I have and do love) places, hobbies still bring that out of me but most normal (work) days lately I haven't felt very important or special.
I'm not worried about "finding myself" or whatever but I'm hanging on to this idea that if I do more of what I want then questions about purpose and meaning will take care of themselves. The world is beautiful, our lives are too short, and nobody knows exactly what's going to happen and how they will feel about it.
In 2013 I want to dictate more of the experiences that will shape who I am 5/10/25 years from now. Some combination of luck, circumstance, sacrifice, and curiosity has put me in the position to do this. This "someday" has been stretch over the last 2 years and it would be very easy to continue to stretch it: find a new job that pays a bit more, maybe stay at my current job and buy a condo....but that doesn't feel right.
Us weirdos gotta do something different that what's expected.

Also, if I can't find a job maybe I'll finish writing my book...maybe.

It will be a kick-ass last month in Boston.  See you in a few months West Coasters.
-JP

Four Minutes and Eleven Seconds

My official Boston Marathon time was 3:57:33. Starting in wave 3 and showing up to the start line a few minutes late meant my clock didn't start until about 8 minutes in. My best guess is that I crossed the finish line at 4:05:33 race-time.
The bombs went off 4 minutes and 11 seconds later. I was getting a blanket/gatorade in the finishing area, the explosion was about 100 meters behind me. I heard it, turned, and saw the smoke starting to rise.
In hindsight this sounds stupid but No One in my area assumed it was a bomb. We had just run for 4 hours and brainwaves were struggling to communicate with each other. On some elementary level we knew something was wrong but is sounded like a bang, not the boom that movies would lend you to believe. It could have been some kind of machinery failure, or maybe even something like the musketeers at a Patriots game. Everyone in the crowd of runners looked to each other asking "what was that" in various emotive tones- some a hushed inquiry and others with an undertone of save me, tell me it's ok.
The advice of the BAA volunteers (who were amazing, fwiw) was to grab a Gatorade and keeping moving forward. The 50-something woman beside me was crying. She grabbed my arm and cried "what happened?" I took her hand and walked to the bag pick up, on the way listening to the conversations of strangers who were growing increasingly concerned. Our heart rate was coming back down to normal and our wits returning. The previous logic of "it can't be a bomb, that would've leveled the block"had given way to the fact that I've never seen a bomb go off and I just saw an explosion.
I grabbed my bag and took out my phone, needing desperately to know that my friends- who minutes ago I high-fived- were ok. Smoke was coming from the general direction I had seen them. Thankfully I had a missed call to prove they were ok.
In those two minutes the spreading words: bomb, limps, evacuate, had made it up the street.
People were crying, screaming, and sprinting away from the finish line, I was almost run over sitting by a fence next to the bag buses.
I think people run away from tragedy and pain because they want to feel some sense of control: If I can get myself quickly to a different place then my fate is in my own hands. But there wasn't any controlling this- the piece of earth where you stand might be no safer then the piece of ground you move to. If something else was happening- this might be it.
I texted a few friends who were near the finish to let them know I was ok.
I called my dad- he was so proud/happy for me (news hadn't broken the story yet) so it was surreal to tell him what was happening.  I contacted MFH and wandered to a friend's nearby apartment, on the way passing people covered in blood, others crying on their cell phones, some stunned staring at something only they could see before them.
Hugs from Alexa and my friends helped. We did an inventory of people who might be hurt/missing, made a list, and started to make sure someone had heard from them.
It was a few hours before everyone had been accounted for, but thankfully my friends are all ok. But my heart is heavy that other people's friends/family are not.


Yesterday I hugged/kissed/held hands with not only friends and family but also strangers. Yesterday we w
ere all just people- no hierarchal statuses or cliques. Today were still all people, tomorrow we will be as well. Try to not be mean to anyone, don't think you're better than them or judge them. We're all just doing our thing and someone who is a minor blip to you is a huge part of someone else's life and is complicated and amazing.


Today I'm thankful for all the expressions of love and calls/texts/emails yesterday. If I could only give you a quick answer at the time please know that I want more of you. Let's catch up/keep hanging out.
Today I'm thankful for the health/safety/general awesomeness of my friends- they made sure the people they knew were accounted for then started helping strangers (and Zack) contact and reunite with people that were looking for them.

To my friend Alex- you are one of the few people who admits to reading my blog so I know you'll see this. Don't let these sick assholes take away the feeling of accomplishment that you deserve. I hope when the sad starts to fade you will be as proud of yourself as everyone else already is of you.

I'm angry- we all are. And we need to know what happened- who did this and why- before we can let go and move on to a better-healed new normal. I sincerely hope nothing is taken away from the future of Boston. Next year we should cheer louder for the runners and celebrate Patriots day more feverishly than ever before. Keep bringing the high 5's and hugs and kisses to anyone who could use one.

I'll be a little weird for a while but I am ok.
With Love and Gratitude,
JP

Putting A Run of Bad Cards in Context (An Overdue "Thank You for the Awesome Donation" to my Parents)

This is a much belated Thank You For Donating to MFH post to my parents:

Lot of Text, worth it

At 26 I feel both young enough to remember childhood experiences and old enough to be able to see their place in my becoming this current level of me. Without ever pushing to an unreasonable level, my childhood took full advantage of the freedom to explore that my parents gave me.
They supported my obsession with collecting baseball cards, took me to get the best yoyo so I could dominate the 2 days that it was cool to yoyo. They sent me to inline skating camp, etc, etc,etc.
I remember the cruise we went on when I was only 14 and my dad snuck me into the casino to play penny slots. The cab ride back to the airport he told the cab driver I hit "it" big. The cab driver was very unimpressed to hear it was $11. At the time $11 might has well have been a million. It was money that came out of a machine because I was good at a shiny game, cabbie didn't get it.
I look at my current allovertheplace hobbies/interests and I owe you, mom and dad, a thank you for letting me explore them. You probably often had to close your eyes in support of a bad idea that you wanted me to see on my own. As I continue whatever this exploration will become, I'm very lucky to know that I come from you two and you have my back.

I'm old enough now to realize a few times that I was completely "got" by my parents.
-One time I was having a little kid fight with my mom about some little kid b.s. and told her I was going to run away. She didn't try to stop me, I was sneaky fast so how would she have? I turned my pillowcase into a rucksack and filled it with granola bars and juice boxes (it was summer and I was 7ish, so this covers everything you need to live on your own right?) Before I left my mom nonchalantly told me to make sure I don't drink the juice boxes after dark. Juice will attract wolves.
Forget that wolves don't drink juice: there are 0 wolves around our house. There was also a 100% chance I would return home before dark. Well played mom.
-On a trip to Toronto I got an ear infection. My parents had room service bring up pudding every few hours and let me watch Last Action Hero on repeat for 36 hours. I was scary sick but don't remember any pain or nausea. I was on an adventure, it was something new.

I spent most of a sleepless last night bemoaning a few hours of bad luck. In the scheme of my "luck" I got to grow up as part of my family so I imagine I'm way ahead. Hopefully it stays that way and I can share it with all of you.
Thank you mom and dad, not just for the donation, but also for "doing the nasty" and making me happen (I feel so dirty typing that.)

Want your own "Thank You" reminiscence? Donate big moneys to Medicines for Humanity at http://www.crowdrise.com/TeamMedicinesforHumanity/fundraiser/JessePlate.
We're having a fundraiser on 4/6 (6:30pm) at The Point. Come by if you can.

A Gushing Endorsement For The Diesel (AKA why you should befriend Calvin Tse, if you're lucky enough to get the chance)

I'd like to thank my man Calvin for his generous donation to Medicines for Humanity.

Thinking back to the several years in which I was lucky enough to live within 50 yards of Calvin, I am grateful for a whole bunch of "honorable mention" favorite Calvin moments:
-Cal was the first person to give my dad (if you haven't met him, he is quite thin) the nickname "Big Jon"
-One time we went to Turning Stone and slept in my car. Side note: anyone to whom I introduced Sic-Bo, Calvin is the one who showed me the way.
-I went out to Calvin's house in New Jersey for July 4th one year and his friend's brother was smoking cat nip.
-I thought Calvin was taking a nap but he was just bugging out and couldn't move.
-I was at Cal's apt (which included a floor to ceiling picture of himself he found at NYU) when the brief Kimbo Slice era ended.

This will be a less interesting story than some of the above, but my favorite memory of Calvin is a silly one. We're living together our sophomore year at NYU and fake ID'd our way into some wine and liquor and had, as 19/20 year olds do, gotten a little crazy.
We're on a train heading to some party and there's a family sitting across from us. The daughter, who is maybe 6 years old, asks the father to let her hang from the handrail above. He lifts her to it and the momentum of the train leaving Spring St station swings her around. She giggles.
Cal and I look at each other in a shared moment of that's so awesome: I wish I was 50 pounds  that in our 20 year old hyper-competitve* boozed up brains translates into a pull up contest on the uptown 6 train.
Who won? I don't remember, but I was sweating when we got to the party.

This moment might also signify the turning point of who was more athletic/would win in a fight. Actually scratch that- until he demonstrates otherwise I can beat Calvin in a fight (being taller and 60 pounds heavier certainly will help me)- but in the time since that train ride he has probably gotten very close.

*Maybe that's why we liked playing poker together (still pissed he beat me heads up in the freshman year floor wars poker tournament)

Calvin is the kind of friend who is on your shoulder unconditionally rooting for you but ready to laugh at you if things don't work out.

Cal- I am super jealous of your world-trotting and I hope you continue to get everything you want. You're a good one and you deserve all of it. The world need more great guys like you.  Never change!

Itza

Hey all-
Sorry for the delay,  I'm a little late posting this. December quickly passed and despite the Mayan's best guess the world didn't end. Shocker. January has been sprinting and doesn't look like it will let up.

Itza-Metaphor

A few people have asked me about goals for the year. I had given myself until my birthday- a self imposed arbitrary deadline- to figure that out. Still, I don't have a concrete list like the past few years. Instead I'm stealing Dan Sanderson's killer way of looking at it; these aren't resolutions but rather part of an ongoing personal growth. Itz something like:

Read More.*1 Exercise with more balance and consistency.*2 Cook healthier and experiment with food Have more meaningful 1-1 time with friends (deeper connections) Crush poker*3. Travel. Dance often. Invest (long) into companies that are trying to do something socially productive. Continue to dive into spirituality. Find more time to write. Keep asking questions. Wake up earlier, treat the morning hour like a gift. Travel*4, Buy a new car- preferably one that isn't inclined to break engine belts. Commit intrinsic acts of selflessness. Keep much better focus on the task at hand. Travel. Spread the love- smile at strangers, hold more doors open, give more hugs, be a more open ear/shoulder/back/whatever people need. Show up to surprise friends more often (see woof) We are built for connection not isolation. Cut the fat (metaphorically....ok, literally too) Manage my energy better- It's impossible to be everything to everyone all the time. Travel. Fill in more gaps. Be a more honest self-assessor. Feelings don't retreat until they've taught us what we need to know, pay more attention to them. Be less insecure*5

*1- Currently wrapping up SSTLS, Heart/Smart/Guts/Luck, then on to Zen Plus The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, The Stars My Destination, The Alchemist. Any suggestions or book buddies for the above?
*2- Specialize vs a bit of everything? I tend to get really into either running or yoga or lifting and ignore the others. That's probably not that healthy, I need to physically diversify. 
*3- I had planned a bunch of poker as part of a road trip, but is poker any good? Games are much harder than they used to be. The people playing just for fun all lost their money and found a more productive hobby, so the people who still play do so pretty well. Plus they're cranky and not alto pleasant. I don't want to be that guy for a few bucks.
*4- I'm currently at a crossroads as I look at 2013. I want to travel (road trip!) but what comes after that? Teaching abroad? A new job in Boston? The same job in Boston? Taking time to write? Maybe it's just a mancrush on Ryan Gosling but all of a sudden fixing up a dilapidated house by a river seems like a really good idea.
*5- I've been oscillating between worrying about money all the time and setting my wallet on metaphorical fire. Sometimes I embrace much more responsibility, other times I want to be left alone.



Shout out to Tyler, Nick, and Alexa- I'm super proud you for making the hard choice to go after something you wanted and impressed that you got what you wanted.

End of 2012 Woofing:
-Did my best Santa impression: driving around Boston listening to awesome music All I Want for Xmas on repeat delivering spontaneous presents.
-YES: Will get its own post at some point but I'm really digging the winter volunteering.

Itza Blogsaver (because Alex got it stuck in my head):

Non-Financial Currencies

I looked up the definition of investment and it is far too literal IMO. It should be more like:
-Any demonstration, be it physical or otherwise (a relationship, idea, work, physical object) that is worthy of time/effort/money/sacrifice because in the future your effort will be returned to you in a greater fuller sense than what you gave.
-An earned opportunity for growth.

I've been feeling more and more like I owe the world a year of service: a period of putting educating/donating/building for people ahead of making money and my own shortish term goals. It's not like I'm about to get ballinoutofcontrol with my current job anyway.
I hope (and please hold me to this) a year from now I can point to the above paragraph and realize this feeling was a spark for something big. The only thing really holding me back from that is money, the idea of money.
Money should be a tool that makes your life work. Any tool shouldn't be an end goal. If you're building a shed, you wouldn't spend 90% of your time/energy planning which saw and hammer to use. If you do- you will lose focus on the shed itself will be a rushed or ignored mess.
If you can spend your time doing something that makes you happy and fulfilled, money can maybe figure itself out. Other currencies- time, energy, space, your body- are at least as important as money but don't get nearly the attention.

A few people have scoffed at my idea to take some time off. ZOMG it will be a step back in your career! That's ok by me. It's natural but not necessary for things to go in a line. It keeps people moving:

Good high school grades->College Admission->Good College Grades->"Cool" unpaid internship->Less cool paid intership->Crappy Job->Renting an apartment->Slightly Better Job->Buy A Car->Promotion->Leverage Job to Get a Better Job->Buy a house->Get job that really pays->Get married->Another promotion->Start a family->Work/vacation (repeat this step a few times)->Get old

Linearity is fine but shouldn't rule out exploration/passion/trial+error/stepping back in the line multiple times. I write this as a total hypocrite, but I'm working (or at least day dreaming) really hard on that.

Edit from last blog: I don't like Linking Park, this is what I was referencing. 

Happy Chanukah Friends,
JP


CFBE (not sure the number):
She's looking at me looking at her looking at me and I'm thinking about her thinking about me and this back and forth keeps getting stuck. The day goes by.

Last thing: I just read on FB that two friends of mine suffered a second recent heartbreak. I don't have your cell phones, but if you need to bounce thoughts off someone let me know. I will be thinking of you. If you're reading this and it isn't you- be grateful for your family.

11/28 Word Dump (Thanksgiving, a Weekend)

I complemented a friend for letting me in on his (or her, for the sake of anonymity) thought process. Wanted to do the same, even if it's all over the place.
Good luck on Powerball everybody!

Monday
Get out of my inbox you manipulative Cyber Monday sales emails. I understand you want my money but no one needs a clever t-shirt. Quit trying to take advantage of my gaping insecurities (of course I want to look nerd chique but I will never wear that "Link In Park" shirt.)

#Nerdgasm

Sunday 8-ish-AM after overhearing something I wasn't supposed to
There's a side to everything that we're not supposed to see. The hidden side is probably closer to reveal the "truth" then the staged version we get to experience. The choices we make when no one is looking reveals who we are. It's sad that they don't paint the bottoms of furniture.
Our feelings and views are shaped by the projection of previous experiences. This game theoretical approach to the world probably isn't best, but it's ok.

Saturday
If the world gets random enough it will start to make sense.
I read about motivations of conspiracy theorists. The easy assumption is that they are paranoid and think the world is out to get them. In truth- they just want to make sense out of the world and what they see doesn't make sense to them.
Meeting new people isn't random- a new person's perspective can be a blessing or a lesson, hopefully both.

Friday
(Laughs at self for getting upset about car dying again.) You really can't expect a physical "thing" to hold it's value. We (we=not poor people) probably derive too much self-value from buying things and too little from more important ideas of self.
-How hard would I fight for my friends?
-What would I sacrifice to take a crazy high-risk shot at being happy?
Along these lines, see Monday.

Thursday
Reasons I am thankful this Thanksgiving:
-I got to do some really cool things this year. Boston Marathon? Sky diving? Going to Israel? Routinely going to play a ridiculous game that I love and can (sometimes) make money at? And I'm planning a 2013 that's even more full of bucketlisting? Life is looking up.
-My family is safe and healthy. My friends are starting to find their way through the mess that is being 20-something and getting everything they want.
-My mind is more open than it has ever been.
-2012 was a trying year work-wise but I will come out of it with a more informed perspective on professional life.
-Most importantly: my thoughts are on the other side of the world this Thanksgiving. Everyone in the US should be thankful for their comfortable lifestyle. Imagine waking up to bombs going off? We take pride in our home cities based on sports teams? Imagine having to sacrifice something for your home- that's the reality my friends in Israel face every day. I admire all of them for it.


Last Week
Background: I was having a halfmind/fullhearted conversation with a friend who was stressing over her "what is this" relationship with a guy. They flirt and have fun together, but are part of the same group of friends.

Specific relationships house layers/subtexts/components built from each individual's and the shared experiences/memories of the two.  The general term "relationship" survives in a human connection between a person and another person or object. Our relationship lives in the space between you and I whenever we interact (actually, it's still in the space between us even if we don't interact very often.)
A relationship (and I mean ANY relationship) is gray. At some level there is an unclear boundary between different possible categorizations of feelings. The simplest boundaries, that I discussed with my friend, would be between A: Platonic, B: Fantastical(WhatIf), and C: Romantic feelings.

I can't see how any relationship could ever be completely in one category. Even a relationship with a celebrity who you have never met wouldn't be 100% B- there has to be some component of either A or C or both.
Two platonic same gender friends wouldn't be 100% platonic. That's impossible. Those heterosexual friends might have a relationship that's 75% platonic, 20% fantastical, 5% romantic. Two gender-opposite friends might be more like 60%, 30%, 10%.
If you're in a relationship, the fantastical portion of you relationships (other than your sig other) might be higher but the romantic part might be smaller.
I tend to flirt (shocker I know) so even in my platonic relationships the fantastical and romantic percentages are inflated.

The relationship my friend described to me sounded about 30/40/30 which is an unfinished book, a blank canvas. My friend (hi by the way) should be thankful that every door towards a happy coexistence with someone he/she cares about remains wide open.

Holler,
JP



PS- George Carlin is probably the G.O.A.T. "Always do whatever's next."